


Karkat and Dave's Horse Adventures

by wailing_whale



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, How the hell do I tag this, Humour, and shameless horse puns, cant forget those, joke fics, oh gosh literally its karkat turning into a horse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2013-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-27 11:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/978517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wailing_whale/pseuds/wailing_whale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat tuns into  a horse and Dave dreams of becoming a jockey. It was a tumblr prompt and the idea made me smile so here ya go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Karkat and Dave's Horse Adventures

There’s something wrong with your life when you know that your best bro turned into a horse and that doesn’t even faze you. That’s how you know you’ve lost all sanity, and everything from now on is just a long, down-hill, amusement park-style slide to the happy place. I mean let’s get real here – I have a friend that’s part dog, another that turns into wind, and one more that at one point, and still to my total and complete confusion, had a grimdark phase. I’m past any form of disbelief when it comes to the complete, ass-backwardly weird circle of friends I’ve managed to collect. I guess I’m over it.

But back to the current horse issue.

There’s really no other way to get around saying this. Vantas is a horse. Woke up this morning with four hooves and a neigh even more grating than his usual shout. Seriously, people say that horses are graceful creatures… not Karkat. He’s all lanky and awkward and hilariously temperamental and fuck you if that isn’t the coolest thing that’s happened all week. Rose is still trying to figure out what even happened to make any of this possible in the first place, but I say screw it. Who cares why mcNubs is an equine, I’m more preoccupied with riding the shit out of him.

That came out entirely wrong and I’m not even going to try and rectify it to salvage any remaining slivers of selfpride I have left. I got myself my own horse and there’s nothing that’s gonna stop me from jumping on his back and riding my way into town.

 

“Hold still, my mane man, I can’t get this buckle done.” Horse Karkat flattened his ears and glared back at me (can horses even glare? I don’t know enough about horse expressions to make an accurate assumption here) and made a quiet grumbly neigh. Jesus, horses can make some weird sounds. I just kept working at the saddle girth, trying to get the damn buckle fastened. I still don’t know how TZ managed to alchemize a saddle and bridle under such short notice, but I think she was just as excited as I was for teasing Vantas about this new horse thing, so she wasted no time on that.

“There,” I said, finally getting the strap tightened and straightening up. “How’s that feel?” I slapped Karkat’s horse ass (again, that came out wrong and I don’t care) and then jumped back when he reared up on his back legs, pawing at the air. Talk about horse power, we can get this guy to pull our cars in the winter when the tires get stuck in the snow. His eyes looked kinda wide and nervous, but I didn’t think anything of it until the little shit was galloping away, leaving me in the dust on LOLAR.

“Wow, look at this guy go. He’s tearing it up out there. Like, put him in the Kentucky derby, I’m placing all my chips on him and then becoming the biggest self-made billionaire of all time,” I said, glancing over at Terezi, who grinned.

“How’re you going to get a hold of him again?” she asked, still sporting her little obnoxious grin.

“Shit. You’re right. Never mind, call off the derby, I’m just going to go wallow in a puddle of self-loathing and vocally wishing for the proverbial better days now. My horse racing days are over and done with. RIP jockey career. ”

“Well, you know what they say,” she said, coming up to me and bumping my shoulder. “You whinny some and you lose some.”

“Pyrope you glorious bastard.”


End file.
